The greatest need of man isn’t sex. It isn’t food or material beauty either. Man’s greatest need is respect. He has a primal need to be an alpha- to be first, to be recognized, and to be acknowledged. If man—regardless of its status or disability, is respected, the world will be a better place for everyone and everything that exists.
A fundamental obligation of every individual, organization, and social bodies and entities is a recognition and acknowledgment that every human, regardless of sex, station, socioeconomic status or disability deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.
The society has become increasingly indifferent to the basic “need” of its peoples, and it has, in particular unsurprisingly demonstrated stereotypical, discriminatory and stigmatizing attitudes and behaviours toward people with disabilities.
The consequences of this callous culture are profound. It is not good for us as a society. It is not supportive to our collective aspiration as a people.
When it comes to the treatment of and caregiving to the disabled, David Anyaele, the Director of the Centre for Citizens with Disabilities (CCD) had this to say, “A heart-breaking experience that’s learned is the principle of, “Does he take sugar?” The anecdote here is that of someone who in a bid to serve a person with a disability tea or coffee decides to ask the caregiver of the disabled person whether he or she takes sugar or not when they could simply have asked the person by themselves.” For some reasons, they would never look a disabled individual in the eye with excitement and ask if he or she wants sugar. They would rather ask another person on your behalf.
That is not good attitude
A scenario of such typifies how persons with disability are treated amongst us. Rather than doing a direct need assessment of the support desired by persons with a disability, we tend to make a whole lot of assumptions. No wonder persons with disabilities often say “nothing for us, without us.”
Well, we can sit up on our own. We can ‘act’ to earn respect. The taking of personal responsibilities has been known and proven to be an effective strategy for dealing with “unpleasantness” or perceived injustice that’s continually meted by members of the society. We can improve our own resources and opportunities by taking personal responsibilities for our own lives.
Here are five well-researched personal competitive strategies that are adaptable by persons with special needs that attract dignity and respect from a discriminatory society and enhance emotionally healthy life.
- KNOW YOURSELF. The greatest personal quality a man can have is self-awareness. It makes perfect sense to know who you are, your capabilities, strengths, and weaknesses. Direct communications of these to other people isn’t necessary. It is important to have a healthy sense of oneself. The knowledge of oneself allows one to possess a significant sense of balance, worth, and self-confidence. A human psychology study at the University of Ontario found that an acute recognition of the sense of earthiness is directly proportional to how we are seen, addressed and treated by others.
- DON’T ACT TOO ‘SPECIAL’. I understand that we are special needs individuals. But do you know that acting that ‘special’ often comes with a prize? And that is, they fail to take you for who you are. We do not give them a chance to, because we are too busy feeling too ‘special’ and that society owes us that special attention and extraordinary kindness.
But yes, we can’t lead a life of self-denial. And yes, we are exceptional people who deserve some extra support. But we should be careful to not push it. Don’t stretch it any farther than it already is. You want to earn that respect and attention they give to others? Start showing some independence, in your thinking process, in your dealings, and in your decisions. Do it quietly and innocently. If you have to go it alone sometimes, go. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
- ASSOCIATE WITH INTELLECTUALLY-RICH PEOPLE. Do not compete with miserable people with negative energies. Unlike you, they have got nothing significant to lose. When you are too willing to move with “ordinary folks”, you are only setting yourself up. They won’t treat you right, not because of your disability status, but because they do not know how to. They don’t get it. They have no clue what it means to treat each other with dignity and respect with or without disabilities or conditions. In contrast, there are really decent folks who will make you a much better person.
- DON’T ACT “AS IF”. You may experience 100% deafness, 100% dumbness, 100% movement disorder, 100% lack of vision, 100% immobility, you should not act as if you are deaf, blind, mute, dumb and unable to stand and walk. You must try as best as possible to act as conventionally as you can. You should act normal, sign normal, act OK, do OK, sing cool. Just do normal things. Strive to avoid isolation, which is what opens you up to unwarranted disrespect and attacks from miserable people who are just out to make your life wretched like theirs. That’s no smart way to live!
Now, let us be clear, we are not advocating for, for instance, persons with hearing impairment to act like they really could hear or the dumb to act like they truly can speak out clearly. That’s not what I am talking about. I am talking about something more substantial. Blend in pretty well. Act natural. Act steady, with balance, and self-confidence.
- BE MENTALLY“TOUGH”
Be tough- mentally, yet flexible. Learn to adapt to varying environmental conditions. People do not say it, but they generally relate more to people who are tough. In view of your disability, you cannot be too soft and let yourself be seen as a weakling that’s not to be taken seriously. There is immense ability in your disability. Perhaps, you haven’t found yours just yet. When you are weak, be strong. When you are afraid, be courageous. When you are sad, be happy.
Do you want to court that beautiful, godly lady? You want him to show you the same courtesy as well as you do? Start being yourself!
We, as individuals with disabilities, need that psyche that we are worth being respected, being proposed to and not just give ourselves up to anybody.