People with Disabilities (PWDs): Top FIVE ways to be More Social and Get a Chance to Be Your Best

You cannot be alone all the time. It is killing.

Well, I had an opportunity to have a one-on-one conversation with a highly respected deaf friend. Essentially, we discussed some of the greatest challenges that people with disabilities experience. One of such includes our tendency to recoil, or simply, our predisposition to lead a lonely life.

Researchers have shown that people with disabilities are having a difficult time socializing and making friends and getting out more and engaging in conversations.

Here are the excerpts of the interview with this great deaf individual. I hope the story gives you a pause for reflection.

“Once upon a time at a mainstream school, I began to be alone. How could deaf be alone in a school so many different people are- deaf, blind, hearing, and the physically handicapped.

I saw that many people became better when they communicated with each other and interacted more with others.

I did not have any real friends.

Now, before I got into the university, one of my childhood friends had come to me and said hello. He was a cute-looking boy, but he had been alone too. Shortly after, we had become very good friends. But unknown to us, we weren’t going to be together at university because we were not in the same secondary school which made it hard to plan to be together.

As luck would have it, we met up again, I was very surprised that he had become a sociable person. His life had changed. Soon, I had been influenced by this cute, sociable young man. Then, I had learned a lot about the benefits of talking to others who might not be like you. Soon, I had gone forward fairly far and had gotten an awful lot done in a short span. Even with my parents, and friends, there was a complete type of family and friends’ atmosphere. I had become quite sociable which gave me the last chance to do my best before I moved on.

My narrative is kind of amusing, I admit that. Not even talking of my personality. I am becoming increasingly sociable.

Be sociable.  I would like us to give credit to the owner of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg who brought us together through social media. We ultimately meet up and exchange ideas and information even about our struggles and joys. It is fine.

Those people outside who are far stay away from us, they feel connected. We all have a chance to meet up and to keep connected with one another, including friends and kinfolks.  And our lives are better off with being together no matter our differences.

Those who are frustrated or struggling, have a chance at a happier life- if they become sociable. They must believe in themselves and know that for all problems there is a solution, no matter what. Take chances and be ready to make mistakes why? Because this will help you grow. But you have to be ready to break out of your shell and try something new.”

That’s the end of the conversations.

I have had my own fair share of a lonely life. I used to be a very lonely person. It was not because I wasn’t good or smart enough, it was because I felt I had not enough information about what it means to be sociable.

Here are top FIVE ways to be more sociable:

1. KNOW AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: The greatest personal quality a man can have is self-awareness. It makes perfect sense to know who you are, your capabilities, strengths, and weaknesses. Direct communications of these to other people isn’t necessary. It is important to have a healthy sense of oneself. The knowledge of oneself allows one to possess a significant sense of balance, worth, and self-confidence. A human psychology study at the University of Ontario found that an acute recognition of the sense of earthiness is directly proportional to how we are seen, addressed, and treated by others.
2. DON’T ACT TOO ‘SPECIAL: I understand that we are special needs individuals. But do you know that acting that ‘special’ often comes with a prize? And that is, they fail to take you for who you are. We do not give them a chance to, because we are too busy feeling too ‘special’ and that society owes us that special attention and extraordinary kindness.

But yes, we can’t lead a life of self-denial. And yes, we are exceptional people who deserve some extra support. But we should be careful to not push it. Don’t stretch it any farther than it already is. You want to earn that respect and attention they give to others? Start showing some independence, in your thinking process, in your dealings, and in your decisions. Do it quietly and innocently. If you have to go it alone sometimes, go. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

3. ASSOCIATE WITH INTELLECTUALLY RICH PEOPLE

Do not compete with miserable people: unlike you, they have got nothing significant to lose. When you are too willing to move with “ordinary folks”, you are only setting yourself up. They won’t treat you right, not because of your disability status, but because they do not know how to. They don’t get it. They have no clue what it means to treat each other with dignity and respect with or without disabilities or conditions. In contrast, there are intelligent folks who will make you a much better person. When you are around creative and godly people, it isn’t obvious that something is missing in you. You feel normal, happy, and at ease. And behold, they do not incorporate any pretentious attitude to make you feel normal and respected. No! To them, it just doesn’t matter what you are going through. They don’t see your disability. They see the real you. And they go gaga for you! So keep off of ‘kids’ who would make your life a depressing one.

4. DON’T ACT “AS IF”

You may experience 100% deafness, 100% dumbness, 100% movement disorder, 100% lack of vision, 100% immobility, you should not act as if you are deaf, blind, mute, dumb, and unable to stand and walk. You must try as best as possible to act as conventionally as you can. You should act normally, talk normally. Just do normal things with normal persons. Strive to avoid isolation, which is what opens you up to unwarranted disrespect and attacks from miserable people who are just out to make your life wretched like theirs. That’s no smart way to live!

Now, let us be clear, we are not advocating for, for instance, persons with hearing impairment to act like they really can hear or the dumb to act like they truly can speak out clearly. That’s not what I am talking about. I am talking about something more substantial. Blend in pretty well. Act natural. Act steady, with balance, and self-confidence.

5. BE INTELLIGENTLY “TOUGH”

Be tough- mentally, yet flexible. Learn to adapt to varying environmental conditions. People do not say it, but they generally relate more to people who are sensible. In view of your disability, you cannot be too soft and let yourself be seen as a weakling that’s not to be taken seriously. There is immense ability in your disability. Do you want to court that beautiful, godly lady? You want him to show you the same courtesy as well as you do?  Start being yourself!

We, as individuals with disabilities, need that psyche that we are worth being respected, being proposed to, and not just give ourselves up to anybody. But the way to achieve that is breaking out of our shells, going out more, socializing more, asserting more, and communicating more.